Archive for ‘Thank God it’s Monday’

30 results.
ThankGodItsModnayLookOnTheBrightSight

Thank God It’s Modnay: Look On The Bright Sight

A carpenter walks onto a job site of a large company and hands the foreman his application. The foreman begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held. "I must say," says the foreman, "your work history is terrible- you've been fired from every […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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roofer

Thank God It’s Monday – Things Every Roofer Must Know – Part 2

Part two of the eternal Roofer wisdom - Things every Roofer must know: It is only once you have climbed back up the ladder and onto the roof, that you will remember why you went down in the first place. Delivery drivers get paid a bonus. The further away from the roof they drop the […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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ThankGodItsMondayThingsEveryRooferMustKnowPart1

Thank God It’s Monday – Things Every Roofer Must Know – Part 1

I've decided to start a short series of posts addressing things that every roofer must know. When you have finished the roof you must spend many hours cleaning up the area around the house. You should employ a CSI forensic unit to check that there is absolutely no evidence that you were ever there. After […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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ThankGodItsMonday

Thank God it’s Monday: Just as planned

An inspector is coming to inspect a roof construction site. The site manager tells his employees: "Be careful, no matter what happens, please react as if everything was planned that way." The inspector arrives and he takes a walk through the site. Suddenly, one of the roof beams collapses. One of the employees,  very happily, […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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ThankGodItsMondayLetThereBeLight

Thank God It’s Monday – Let There Be Light

A bricklayer, a carpenter and an electrician are arguing about which has the oldest profession. ‘We built the Pyramids,’ says the bricklayer. ‘We must have been the first.’ ‘We built Noah’s Ark before the Pyramids,’ says the carpenter. ‘We were first.’ The electrician says, ‘You’re both wrong. When God said, “Let there be light”, it […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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ThankGodItsMondayDammitIMissed

Thank God It’s Monday: Dammit, I Missed

A roofer was fixing a church roof, when he struck his thumb. "Dammit, I missed!" cries the roofer. The minister corrects him, saying, "You shouldn't say such a thing in the church." The roofer continues his work, and soon strikes his thumb again. "Dammit, I missed!" he yells. The minister again corrects the roofer. The […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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Thank God, it's Monday: only true professionals needed!

Thank God, it’s Monday: only true professionals needed!

Construction company employee comes to the director of HR department with a file of CVs: - I made a pre-selection. These are resumes of professionals that are worth seeing. They meet all the criteria. Director divides the documents in two, roughly the same parts, crashes half into the trash and gives the second part back to the […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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ThankGodIt'sMondayTheRoofIsOnFire

Thank God: It’s Monday: The Roof Is On Fire

A roofer was working on the roof of a 2-storey building, when he slipped and slid down, he catches and holds the gutter and screams "Fire! Fire! Fire!". As quick as a flash the Fire Department arrived, put up a ladder and got him down safely. Bemused, the fire Chief asked "Where is the fire?" […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry...

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